It’s been a long time, huh? I know, I know. I’ve kinda neglected this little blog of mine, and I am sorry. But, as I no longer have a camera to take photos with, and I’ve also been really active on Youtube for the past few months, this place kinda got forgotten.
But, don’t worry, I will always come back to it when I have something to show or say. And, today I do.
If you know anything about me, you know I’m a big organizer/declutterer. (Is that a word?) I enjoy getting rid of unnecessary things, simplifying my space, my closet, and my mind, as well. I always think there’s more room to make things even more simple. And with the new year around, and just being by myself and in my thoughts a lot (I’m home from work because of my neck injury) – it came to my attention that my mind definitely got a bit more messy.
And as always, that realization and that aha-moment came from the smallest, most random thing. I found a new instagram to follow. It was this lovely girl from South Korea, and she had all these very simple, clean photos of mostly coffee dates, reading books or little pleasures like that. I got really excited to have found her, because visuals like that really make me loose my mind. If something gives me that warm feeling inside, makes me think of a movie or a book that impacted me, makes me wanna make tea and just enjoy my own company.. I flip out. You know what I’m talking about. Some aesthetics just speak to you and make you feel things. So, I started to think about how much I love seeing things like that, how genuinely and deeply my love for them is, and how that – that’s truly who I am. And how I live, and what I want in life. (I know, I got A LOT from one instagram account 😀 – but it just pushed me into my thoughts a lot.)
And then I realized, with a lot of accounts from people like her, I also follow a bunch of people who are nothing like what I aspire to be. I followed all these amazing bloggers, who travel all around, get really luxurious things, spend nights in jacuzzis and buying Chanel bags. Now, don’t get me wrong. I too, want to travel. I want to see the whole world. But it’s more like, I wanna be barefoot and naked on some island, reading a book and taking a picture of my feet next to the palm trees. I don’t really want to be crazy rich, I don’t want Chanel bags, I have no interest in living in luxury or having that fast paced “popular life”. So, why would I follow anyone who I’m not inspired by? Who represents exactly that?
Probably because internet said so. Instagram said so. Society said so. It’s just what you do. You see Negin Mirsalehi, and you follow her. She’s one of the most popular fashion blogger girls, and everyone enjoys to watch her beautiful dream life. And I have nothing against her, nor do I think you’re shallow or superficial if you do follow her. Just, I personally have no value from her. I don’t want her pictures to influence me, to have a mind filled with these images of something I do not crave. I don’t want to trick myself into thinking I need any of that, I want any of that, I should live like that, or that my photos should look like that.
As I was decluttering my following list I realized I follow 300 of the same women. Everything is the same, but different. Maybe another color scheme, but it’s that same lifestyle. So I felt a relief as I removed all of that extra stuff from my list, and was left only with people who I’m friends with, who really inspire me, who I look up to, or aspire to be similar to in some way.
Might seem small and insignificant to you, but decluttering your instagram, any of your social medias and your computer and phone, is just as important as doing so with your stuff, your closet, any of the extra junk in your life. Because we spend so much time on our phones and as a part of that virtual world, we are influenced by it whether we’re aware of it or not. So I like to be in charge or what I let in my life and in my mind. And though sometimes, there are periods when things get a little out of hand (as it did for me in the past few months) – I always find a way to make that clean cut, and get to the basics again.
And, speaking of how much time we spend on our phone.. I got to thinking about that, too.
I mentioned in the beginning of this post, as I was in a car accident, my neck got hurt, so I’ve spend a lot of time at home in the past two weeks. No, scratch that, I spent ALL of my time home. And, as I really can’t do much (I’m supposed to be resting, which can start hurting your body too, trust me :)) – I mostly find myself on the phone, scrolling for hours, chatting to my girls, being up to date with everything that’s going on in the internet world.
Now, I LOVE the internet. I love the friendships I’ve made there (some are my closest ones, actually!), I love how much creativity you can express on instagram, how inspired you can get, I love Pinterest, I love tumblr.. You get the point, I’m a VERY visual person. And to some extent, it feeds me, fuels me, motivates me to work and do my own things. But, too much of everything is not good. And I’ve had too much of everything.
I realized I used to read a few books in one week (I don’t right now), I used to write in my journal or my ideas in notebooks for hoursss, I used to watch a lot more of movies, I used to be much more disconnected and in tune with myself, alone with myself. Yesterday, I felt like I’m never alone, like my phone is always with me. And how scary is that, to think that you would gift a few hours of your day to some other people, going through their photos, giving them a chunk of your time and life – and not do the same for yourself.
It just made me think and take a step back. This is not some dramatic move, I’m not leaving instagram. (No, thank you, I LOVE that space.) I’m not gonna disappear for 10 days, I’m not gonna grow hair on my arm pits, stop creating content for my platforms or never buy new dresses or bags again. I still love fashion, styling and dressing up, I love taking photos, sharing them with everyone, I found insane joy in making youtube videos and connecting even more with all of you… But, I am gonna take a little step back, just for me.
Instead of being on my phone for hours, I’m gonna tune in when I want to post something and in the morning and the evening, to check up on everyone and respond to things. Instead of scrolling, I am gonna get lost in a book. Instead of reaching for my phone first thing in the morning (to get on social media), I’m gonna go to my 10% happier app and meditate for a little while. When I’m bored, I will look inside of myself to get to ideas and projects I could be taking on, instead of looking for entertainment outside.
I’m simplifying my life, my mind, my surroundings.. Nothing can ever be completely empty and fresh (for a long time) but I will come back and repeat whenever needed, dust “my shelves” and try to always keep a tidy and clean surface for myself. And I hope, that in least in some ways, I can inspire you to do the same – if any of my thoughts were relatable to you.
As I finished this article, I drank the last bit of my delicious breakfast and now I can go back to my Saturday and enjoying the simple things in life, that I love and cherish so much. Happy weekend, everyone! ❤